Building Strong Inter-Personal Relationships In the Church

A message presented  and deliver by Segun Adeleke at Faith Baptist Church between October 30 and November 1st 2006.

The Church is a network of relationships.  Apostle Paul refers to the Church as in 1 Cor. 12:27 “the body of Christ”.  This metaphor depicts the dependence and inter-dependence; the relationship and inter-relationships that exist between the body parts and consequently the church.  A church that is not built on strong relationship is a deviation from divine standard.  Such is a church only by name and not in nature and power. 

The absence of strong relationships in the Church is responsible for her weakness and poverty in the face of satanic onslaught.  It is a major reason why the church ministries to the world have not been very effective.  The only way Jesus said that the world we know that will are His disciples is when we display strong relationship amongst ourselves.  May the LORD heal the church of our day and make her relevant to His divine purpose, Amen.

A.   Definitions

Relationship = “the ties or degree of kinship or intimacy”; “affinity”; “affair”.

Inter = Prefix =  “word that is put before another” or      “between”; “from one to another”

Personal = “Concerning a person’s private affairs, or his/her character, habits, body etc”.

Note: Inter-personal relationship in the church has to do with relationship between brethren.

B.   Basis Of Inter-Personal Relationship Amongst       Christians

• The blood of Jesus – Acts 20:28; Eph. 2:13
• The trinity’s example – Gen. 1:26
• The biblical command – Rom. 12:10; Heb. 13:1; 1 Peter 1:22-23
• The biblical assumption/admonition – 1 Thess. 4:9-10
• One Lord, one faith, one body etc principle – Eph. 3-6
• The early church’s example – Acts 1:1ff etc
• The curse dimension – Ecc. 4:10b
• The God perspective – Gen. 2:18
• The “two or three” principle – Matt. 18:18-20
• We are all sons of God – Gal. 3:26
• We are fellow pilgrims – 1 Peter 2:11
• We have no choice than to relate – 1 Cor. 12:12-26
• Etc.

C.   Hindrances to Inter-Personal Relationship

• Unregenerated membership
• Pseudo spirituality
• Ignorance of what inter-personal relationship means
• Mr. Self viz pride etc
• Fear of exploitation, abuse, misunderstanding etc
• Personality traits
• Backgrounds  
• Prejudices
• Lack of constant teaching on the subject
• Lack of correct teaching on the subject
• When leaders fail to exemplify the subject eg. Pastors, Deacons, Church Council members etc
• Tradition
• Previous negative experience
• Suspicion
• Immaturity – spiritual, physical etc.
• Etc.
  

D.   The Danger Of A Weak Relational Life
      (Ecc. 4:8-12; Judges 18:7-10, 27-28)

• You are on your own
• You will be limited
• You come under a curse
• You are exposed
• Etc.

E.   How To Improve Inter Personal Relationship
      In The Church 

• Ensure regenerated membership- Acts 3:3
• Leaders to exemplify it
• Create time for it
• Create an enabling environment for it
• Plan related programmes
• Visit one another
• Take time to know one another i.e name, houses, jobs, fellowship after worship etc
• Create a space in your heart for others
• Trust one another
• Forbearance
• Forgive one another – Acts 7:54-60
• Identify with others in their pains and joys
• Make use of existing small groups, cell units to promote inter-personal relationship
• Identify and pull people out of their “shells”
• Respect one another
• Submit to one another – Eph. 5:21
• Practice “hot love” for one another – 1 Peter 4:7-8
• Make christlikeness your aim
• Maintain a good relationship with God
• Etc.

F.   Benefits Of Inter –Personal Relationship
      In The Church 

• Greater accomplishments – Ecc. 4:8-12
• Mutuality – Acts 4:32-37; Pr. 27:17
• Diverse miracle – Acts 4:33 ; 5: 12; 15-16
• Discoveries of hidden gifts and talents – Acts 4:36
• Strong Divine presence – Mt. 18:18-20; Acts 5:1-11
• God’s blessing – Psa. 133
• Personal & congregational fulfillment – Acts 4:34
• No more lonely people in crowded pews
• Church growth – Acts 5:13-14
• Personal and congregational victory – Ecc. 4:8-12

G.   Pitfalls To Avoid In Inter-Personal Relationship

• Avoid taking others for granted
• Avoid also being a dead sea
• Avoid all appearances of evil
• Avoid Evil communication – 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 15:33
• Etc.

The truth is: We “are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus”.  It is therefore a sin not to relate properly with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  It is also absurd, and satanic.  We all must therefore.
Do your best to preserve the unity which the Sprit gives by means of the peace that binds you together. Eph. 4:3

Once we begin to do this, God will be happy with us and command His divine benediction upon our lives.  May the LORD by His spirit help you and I so to do, Amen.